Milka [the Great{est} Dane]

sharing the colorful spots of my life…

Monster in the closet February 18, 2012

Filed under: Colorful Spots — Milka [the Great Dane] @ 12:02 pm

I have a terrifying revelation to make!




They do! I’m not kidding!


It feeds on the dirt we leave on the floor and the humans often let it out and walk it while it feeds.


It’s really mean and has a strange bark. It’s so aggressive! When it’s out, it only stops barking when the humans kick it in the butt. It doesn’t even stop when it feeds!


And the humans aren’t even a little bit afraid of it! They really don’t see the danger! They even named it! Can you believe that? They call it Vacuum. Vacuum! What the hell?


Oh, but don’t you worry about me! I give it a good fight so it knows it can’t mess with me or my humans!


I know this is too much to take. But let me show you…



There! You believe me now? Have you ever seen such a beast?


I mean… Who would dare to keep a creature like this under the same roof? Not anyone sane, I’m sure!


But it’s ok… At least, when it’s in the closet, it’s quiet and you don’t even remember it exists, until it’s time to feed again!


The things I have to put up with! Oh, these humans!




Terrified slobbers,



18 Responses to “Monster in the closet”

  1. Milka, your courage is inspiring! I admire you for taking the monster on. I avoid it at all costs, because I know it wants to eat me. Once Mom rubbed it on me and it ate some of my fur! Yikes. Now I leave the room when it’s out of the closet, so maybe it will forget about me.

  2. Dianda Says:

    You can take it, Milka!

  3. Lindsay Says:

    What a great way to start the morning… a funny Milka story. 🙂

  4. We gots one of those ones too! You know what? Mom yells at us if we bark at him when he’s out! We’re just trying to save her… she’s very ungreatful!

    Sam and Pippen

  5. We have a monster like that too! Sometimes it tries to eat our biscuits we leave lying around, then we get really mad.

    Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie

  6. Winston Says:

    Well, you showed that Monster who’s the boss!! We have a monster too butt it’s my stinky cat, Cecil, who fights him off!! Yep, I can just sit back and let him do all the work!

  7. dogdaz Says:

    Yes Milka – we need to save our Mom all the time from a similar monster – Sofie & Louise

  8. Oh Milka, we have one of those monsters at our house too – but it’s name is Dyson. What a stupid name. And Dyson doesn’t even have to live in the closet. The monster lives behind the door in Mumma’s office – right in the same room where our beds are! Lucky we only snooze on them during the day and at night we sleep in Mumma’s room. We don’t want to be sharing a room with a monster at night. And do you want to know the worst part? Dyson has a see through belly, and it has our fur in there already. We can SEE it! So it’s obviously been snacking on us while we nap during the day. *shivers* Lots of puppy love, Bella & Beary

    • Oh! How terrible!

      I’m sure that see through belly is just to terrify you: “See.. I feed on you whenever I wish”.

      I’ve seen the monster eat my mum’s hair too!

      That’s just unacceptable!

      We gotta talk to our humans and explain the danger they (and we!) are in.

      Terrified smoochies!


  9. barb19 Says:

    Sounds like these monsters are taking over! I bark and bark at ours when mum takes it a walk, but it still keeps coming back; it’s bigger than he though, but I still try to protect my mumma. Poppy

  10. barb19 Says:

    P.S. Mumma says thank you for following her blog!

  11. Bassas Blog Says:

    I love this post – hilarious 🙂 Great video – you really are a dragon slayer Milka! 🙂

  12. Noo – our humans have one too! Seems to be quite common reading from the comments. Why do they do that?!? When ours comes out Kai goes out of the house and waits there until the monster has been fed but I stand in its way and show it who the boss is. Often mum has to push me out of the way to get where she wants the monster to go and eventually she gets fed up and sends me out with Kai in the garden too… I just don’t know what to think of it. I am very pleased to see how brave you are Milka, keep up the good work 😉

    Finn x

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