I have a terrifying revelation to make!
MY HUMANS KEEP A BIG BAD MONSTER IN THE CLOSET!
They do! I’m not kidding!
It feeds on the dirt we leave on the floor and the humans often let it out and walk it while it feeds.
It’s really mean and has a strange bark. It’s so aggressive! When it’s out, it only stops barking when the humans kick it in the butt. It doesn’t even stop when it feeds!
And the humans aren’t even a little bit afraid of it! They really don’t see the danger! They even named it! Can you believe that? They call it Vacuum. Vacuum! What the hell?
Oh, but don’t you worry about me! I give it a good fight so it knows it can’t mess with me or my humans!
I know this is too much to take. But let me show you…
There! You believe me now? Have you ever seen such a beast?
I mean… Who would dare to keep a creature like this under the same roof? Not anyone sane, I’m sure!
But it’s ok… At least, when it’s in the closet, it’s quiet and you don’t even remember it exists, until it’s time to feed again!
The things I have to put up with! Oh, these humans!